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Good to be home!

I  already typed this once and I lost it!

We went to Miami this weekend for Ricky's cousin's wedding. His cousin, Lori, married the Raiders kicker, Sebastian Janikowski. We also rented our last townhouse from them. They're super nice peeps. Since he's in the NFL I dont think it needs to be said how great the wedding was. It was at the Biltmore which is like....awesome.

While at the "cocktail hour", Ricky and I were describing what our wedding would be like to his mom. The whole comfy wedding on the beach where the guests and groomsmen wear khakis and flip flops and the reception at the Ponte Vedra Inn and Club on the outside deck at sunset. Anyways, it was all good until the reception started and Lori danced with her dad to some country song "I Loved Her First". I contained myself pretty well until the lyric "From the first time I saw you with her, it was only a matter of time". I remembered talking to my dad one night after meeting Ricky while he was putting gas in my car and he told me that he thought Ricky was "the one" and how happy he was for us. When my mom drove by and asked what we were talking about my dad just looked at her and said "nothing, father/daughter stuff". It got to me since we were just talking about our wedding and I guess talking about it all then hearing that made me re-realize that I won't have my daddy to walk me down the aisle, give me away, or dance with me. Anyways, I was bawling.

Ricky looked over at me and was like "You wanna go to the bathroom with me?". He took me outside the room and hugged me, held my hand, asked if I was alright and told me that he looked over at me and saw me crying and then he started crying. Awww. He's so sweet and I know he will be when it comes time for our wedding because it's truly going to be one of the most difficult things for me to handle. I'm gonna cry so much. It took me forever to calm myself down the other night. Once we got back to the party, I sat down and looked at Ricky and said "I'm ready for my alcohol now!" as I chugged my glass of champagne and asked the waiter guy for some wine. Ricky went to the bar and got my second glass ready for me. I didn't drink before that point because the drinks were so strong but after that song....I felt like drinking an entire bottle of vodka like after my dad's funeral. I lost count of the glasses of wine and champagne consumed. Well, since I have class @ 8:30 tomorrow morning.....I leave you with the song that made me lose it.

Look at the two of you dancing that way
Lost in the moment and each others face
So much in love youre alone in this place
Like there's nobody else in the world
I was enough for her not long ago
I was her number one
She told me so
And she still means the world to me
Just so you know
So be careful when you hold my girl
Time changes everything
Life must go on
And I'm not gonna stand in your way

I loved her first and I held her first
And a place in my heart will always be hers
From the first breath she breathed
When she first smiled at me
I knew the love of a father runs deep
And I prayed that she'd find you someday
But it still hard to give her away
I loved her first

How could that beautiful woman with you
Be the same freckle face kid that I knew
The one that I read all those fairy tales to
And tucked into bed all those nights
And I knew the first time I saw you with her
It was only a matter of time


But I loved her first and I held her first
And a place in my heart will always be hers
From the first breath she breathed
When she first smiled at me
I knew the love of a father runs deep
And I prayed that she'd find you someday
But its still hard to give her away
I loved her first

From the first breath she breathed
When she first smiled at me
I knew the love of a father runs deep
Someday you might know what I'm going through
When a miracle smiles up at you

I loved her first



 

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